Photo by *L*u*z*a* @ flickr
From Denny: Here's an idea of what Cheeky Quote Day is like over at The Social Poets, enjoy!
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Since so much is up in the air with the economy worldwide, and my audience is an international one (BTW, thank you everyone for your great support!), I thought I’d put up some quotes about retirement. After all, we all are dreaming about that “one day” of what we would like to do without anyone telling us it can’t be done!
While I was driving all day Monday out of town on sales calls I saw a lot of travel trailers and motor homes towing SUVs. I sure wondered where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there. I’ve been seeing those happy people motoring down the road for several months now and it sure got my curiosity up and turned my mind to the subject of retirement.
The first comedian from the past that came to mind concerning retirement was George Burns. He was quite the character and well loved in America. As he aged he made a new career out of standing on stage with an unlit cigar, a sly grin, and cracked jokes in his understated manner until his late nineties. He was in show business all his life beginning in Vaudeville.
George Burns isn’t the only comedian to craft a whole routine around the subject of retirement. The following are all kinds of perspectives about what it is like to retire from your job – or what you thought it might be like to retire! :) Get a grin and think good thoughts for your future.
Quotes
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. - George Burns
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. – Anonymous
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. - Gene Perret
When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. - Gene Perret
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret
I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income. - Gene Perret
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons
The money's no better in retirement but the hours are! - Anonymous
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. - Ella Harris
I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps. - Merri Brownworth
I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension! – Anonymous
Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it. - Abigail Charleson
Retirement: World's longest coffee break. – Anonymous
Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself. - Hartman Jule
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. – Anonymous
Life begins at retirement. – Anonymous
The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. – Anonymous
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. - J. Lubbock
When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired. – Anonymous
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman, prize fighter
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball. - Gene Perret
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller, comedian
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin, actor, comedian, singer
If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. - Malcolm Forbes
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, cartoonist
A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. - Harry Mahtar
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. - Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne
Retire from work, but not from life. - M.K. Soni
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Asquith
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. - Ernest Hemingway, writer
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Anonymous
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. – Anonymous
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever." - Gene Perret
Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. - Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You
*** Comedy writer Gene Perret has been writing television comedy since the 1960’s. For more about him, go here.
Have a great work week, everyone! Keep your head down and your attitude looking up! You never know when you will get to retire and add some cheeky quotes of your own to the funny category of life…